The Skinny on the Ups and Downs of Banded Life

I’ve been a bad, bad girl…abandoning my blog for almost 3 weeks. I’ve been busy trying to get everything in order with the bank to buy my co-op apartment which I will hopefully be getting in the next week or two. I also have my sister’s wedding and have been doing some stuff with her as well as getting started on plans for her shower. Then of course there’s just the fact that I’m a lazy bum. I’ve spent much of my free time the last week or two catching up on episodes of Doogie Howser, M.D. courtesy of Hulu. I used to love that show and apparently I don’t remember a single episode of it. I’ve also been reading a lot. I’m on my forth book this past month. So you can clearly see why I’ve had no time to write.

Despite my lack of updating, a lot has been going on. I believe the last time I wrote was just after I got my unfill and the first day I started solid food. Well, for a day or two there I was feeling great. The unfill was a very welcome—I could finally drink water without chest pain. And for a few days there I felt great restriction. But the sweet spot did not last. Eventually my appetite returned full force and as I realized that not only was I hungry, but I could eat anything, I started making some bad choices again. I tried a slice of pizza. It went down great. On the bright side, I only had 1. I was still hungry, but I ate some good healthy chicken afterwards to fill me up. I also tried bagels. I scooped out the insides to help me out. One day at work someone brought in some left over candy from Easter (how on earth anyone could have Easter candy left over a month later is beyond my comprehension, but I digress). I learned a very valuable lesson that day—I can NOT eat just 1 or 2 pieces of candy. No, as soon as I have one bite, I am overcome with the need to stuff my face with it. Now at least I know that I can only have a taste of candy if a taste is all that’s available to me. And then of course there was the donut that the pharmaceutical rep brought in one day. I also started eating faster and faster as the days went by.

Now I know all of this sounds bad—I was definitely straying from the guidelines my nutritionist gave me, but I was still keeping my calories down to around 1200-1300 calories most days. Of course since my body was in starvation mode from over a month of 600 calorie a day liquids and mushies, my weight loss stalled but I did manage to lose almost 3 pounds between the time of my unfill and last Tuesday when I went back to Dr. G’s for my 6 week post-op appointment.

The appointment went well. I called ahead to make sure I didn’t have to fast or go on liquids prior to the appointment and was assured that it wasn’t necessary. I ate a reasonable breakfast (whole wheat English muffin, 1 egg and a slice of American cheese) and got there in the early afternoon. Dr. G asked me how I was doing and I told him that I was doing alright but I was hungry again after the unfill. He asked me how I was doing keeping my meals to 20 minutes and how my food choices were. I admitted that I had had a few indiscretions and that I was afraid I was starting to eat too quickly but that overall I was managing okay. He agreed to give me a fill but made me promise to take my time and chew well. I agreed and he sent the PA in to do the fill. The PA came in and asked me some of the same questions, then prepped my stomach over my port, filled a syringe, and stuck me with a big needle. It was a quick pinch, but hurt less than giving blood and it didn’t bother me at all. She filled me with 2.5ccs (they had previously removed 3.2ccs) so that I know have a total of 3ccs in my 10 cc band. She gave me my post fill instructions—24-48 hours of liquids followed by 24-48 hours of mushies. All of Tuesday and Wednesday I stuck to my liquids and Thursday and half of Friday I was on mushies before reverting back to solids at dinner time Friday.

The fill was good for me, although it’s still too early for me to tell if it worked. I do think I’m feeling less hungry and the post adjustment diet got me back on track. It was long enough to get my mind back to where it needs to be but not so long that I feel the deprivation that I felt from the post-op diet. I’m definitely making better choices, watching my speed and making sure to chew to goo.

The only thing I didn’t have to get back on track after the fill was my exercise regime. I’ve been going to the gym at least 3 times a week for cardio and I’ve started working out with my trainer, J, again. I can now run on the treadmill for an hour starting at a 4.0 mph pace and working my way up to a 5.0 mph. If I can keep that up I definitely think I should be able to meet my goal of running a half marathon by the end of September. Of course this weekend I didn’t get to the gym since I hurt my back at work yesterday. Well, technically it’s not my back so much as my butt—I apparently have a weak gluteus medius muscle. That’s the muscle that’s just below the small of your back. The left one seems to be my bad one. I’ve had trouble with it several times in the past. Usually some pain meds and rest and I’m feeling better in a week but it’s pure agony in the mean time. I think I might give in and go to a chiropractor this time. Hopefully I’ll be back to the gym before long.

Anyhow, after the fill Tuesday, I’ve lost another 6.5 pounds for a total of 40.5 pounds since I started the pre-op diet 8 weeks ago. Also, this past week at work one of my clients noticed that I’d lost weight and told me how good I looked. This was the first person who didn’t know about my surgery to mention that they noticed a difference in me.

Things definitely aren’t as simple as they were when I was on liquids and mushies. Back then it all seemed so easy and I started getting complacent. I was starting to think that this was going to be cake but the truth is, this is something that I’m going to be working at every day for the rest of my life. This isn’t news, I’ve always known that the lap-band was just a tool to help me get where I need to go—that the real work was up to me. And since I’m only human, there are going to be slip ups along the way. There will be days when I’m less dedicated than I should be. There will be days when I look at a donut or an ice cream sundae or some pizza and I don’t even have the will to try and fight the desire to eat it. Those days will happen and it’s not going to be a straight shot to victory here. All I can do is remember what I’ve gone through to get here, remember what I’m trying to achieve and take it one bite at a time. If I do that then hopefully the good days will be more frequent and the bad days won’t really be so bad—after all, we all need a little indulgence sometimes and accepting that doesn’t automatically equal failure.